The Letter
by staryeyes47
Summary: Set in S3E5, this story begins after Martin and Louisa get back from the concert and Louisa tells him she doesn't want to see him again. What might have happened if Martin received some advice and decided to act upon it.
1. Chapter 1

Seven words. Seven words were all it took for his world to come crashing down.

_I don't want to see you anymore._

Seven little words, each quite innocent on its own, but spoken together they had the power to bring the great Dr Ellingham to his knees. Metaphorically of course, for he was currently lying in his bed, blue suit crumpled, tie askew, trying desperately to figure out where it all went wrong.

_It's us Martin. We're not going anywhere, and we never will._

_I'm sorry Martin, I'm really, really sorry, but I don't want to see you anymore._

It had started out as such a lovely evening. He had picked Louisa up promptly at 5.30pm and she had quite literally taken his breath away. She had been wearing a beautiful black dress which accentuated her delicate features. Even her shoes, which were quite impractical for an outdoor concert had been lovely. And she had looked excited to see him.

The drive to concert was uneventful, Louisa chatted away and Martin had been content to listen. He could listen to her speak for hours, and she didn't seem to mind that he was a man of few words. When they arrived at the concert they had mingled. Louisa knew a few of the guests, and one of her friends from university (Polly? Molly?) was playing in the quartet. They'd even run into his Aunty Joan, who had looked very pleased to see Martin out with Louisa, or so he'd thought. He'd only managed to offend one person that he was aware of. Stupid caterer. Canapes were one of the most unhygienic ways to eat that Martin could think of. Trays of food made days in advanced by unwashed strangers. No thanks!

The concert itself was lovely. For an amateur group they performed satisfactorily. And at one point Louisa, scaring him half to death, had placed a flower in his lapel. He'd found it hard to concentrate after that, and often found his gaze straying to the beautiful brunette at his side.

As he lay on the bed, he looked down to see the flower wilting in his lapel. Symbolic, just like our relationship. Doomed to wither and die. He knew it was him. He was unsociable, grumpy, cynical and curt. She was beautiful, outgoing, social and desirable. What she saw in him was a mystery, and would probably stay that way for as long as he lived.

The walk back from the concert to the car had been exquisite. All afternoon he'd wanted to reach out and touch her, and he'd finally worked up the courage on the way to the car when he took her hand in his. The sigh of relief he felt had quickly turned into a gasp as she pulled him by their joined hands into the alcove and reached up to pull his head into a kiss. He was in heaven. The woman of his dreams was kissing him, passionately. They had pulled apart, and she had looked unsure. His mind was, for a change blank, and he had reached over to pull her into another searing kiss. As they had drawn apart, her scent, which was sweet and suited her so well drifted to his nostrils. She had been looking at him in such a way he felt compelled to speak and had said the first thing that came to his head.

This was the point where it had all gone off the rails. His mind had reverted into his medical training and soon he was spouting anecdotes about pheromones and urine. She had looked so upset and furious and had taken off in a brisk walk back to the car. He wasn't sure what had prompted such a reaction from her.

But thinking back this was the moment it all went downhill. And the more he had tried to patch it up with her on the way back in the car, the worse it seemed to get, until she uttered those seven devastating words.

_I don't want to see you anymore._

So here he was, 4.30 in the morning, still dressed in his suit from the night before, flower sadly wilting in his lapel. And he was crushed. He was a miserable bugger, and he knew it. She was like a beacon of light, and like a moth he was drawn to the light. Only he always got burned. Burned before he could even get close. And it was all his fault, he was sure of it, he just wasn't entirely sure what he had done that had caused her to end their relationship. If you could even call it a relationship. Maybe that was the point.

_It's us Martin. We're not going anywhere, and we never will._

They were going somewhere, weren't they? They'd kissed before, after he'd saved Peter Cronk's life in the ambulance. Actually, he'd ruined that moment too. At the time he'd thought he was being helpful, inquiring about her dental hygiene. He'd have found that very helpful if it were him, but she'd been so angry she'd kicked him out of the cab.

There was also the night they'd drunk wine together. Admittedly he couldn't remember a great deal from that night, but they'd got on well. She'd even come to visit him the day after to give him her hangover cure.

Come to think of it he'd ruined that moment too. He'd been embarrassed about not remembering the night before, and it hadn't helped that he'd woken up spooning that mangy dog. Somehow, it'd gotten all around town that he'd shared his bed with the mutt, and he'd lashed out at Louisa after she declared her love to him by accusing her of being a stalker.

He sighed. There was a pattern here. And she was right. They weren't going anywhere. Any time it looked like they were progressing, he'd open his mouth and ruin it.

He glanced over at his bedside clock. 5.30am. A bit early to get up but who was he fooling, he wasn't going to fall asleep now. May as well start the day. He knew the routine. Get up, shower, dress, breakfast, patients, dinner, shower, sleep. Repeat.


	2. Chapter 2

It was just after 6pm when Joan knocked on the back door of the surgery. She'd seen Martin earlier that day in the village, and truth be told he had looked awful. She hadn't seen him look that lost and upset since he'd been a boy. He had always been upset when his awful parents came to pick him up at the end of the holidays. She'd wanted to help him then, and 30 years later, she wanted to help him now.

Joan opened the door and poked her head round into the kitchen to see Martin at the sink washing his coffee cup. "Good evening. You had your supper?"

"Uh, yes l have, actually."

"Liar. So, are you still down in the dumps then?"

He looked up at this, for the first-time looking Joan in the eyes. He was a man of few words, but his eyes always gave him away. They always had. Even as a boy you could tell a lot about Martin Ellingham by the expression in his eyes. And at the moment his eyes were filled with anguish. He was miserable. And it broke her heart to see him this way.

"What do you want, Auntie Joan?"

Joan sighed and made her way to the kitchen table, gesturing for him to take a seat.

"Well, l didn't want you to go on moping for too long, so l decided to speed the process up a bit."

"Oh, goody."

She chuckled at this as she took her seat.

"Quit fretting, Martin. You're chalk and cheese, the pair of you. She was never going to make you happy. Observe and move on."

She let the statement hang in the air, wondering if he'd have the curiosity or courage to question her about it. With medicine, there was never any hesitation. He'd challenge you at the drop of a hat. With medicine, Martin was the one in charge. He knew exactly what needed to be done, and he did it. And if there was a medical problem that he couldn't immediately figure out, he was like a dog with a bone, digging and digging until he found the answer.

But with everything else in his life, Martin was the complete opposite. He'd shut himself down, hiding behind walls he'd erected to keep people at a distance. Even Joan herself wasn't sure she'd even breached half the walls Martin had around his heart. And it was time to see where Louisa sat with him as well. She knew he had feelings for her, he was like a lovesick puppy every time she was near. She meant what she said. They were chalk and cheese. But that didn't necessarily mean they couldn't work and have a very successful relationship. But the crux of the point was whether he was willing to fight. Would Martin have the courage to fight for the Louisa… fight for the relationship… fight for happiness?

Silence hung in the air, and she could see the thought turning over in his mind. _Come on Marty_, she thought. _You can do it._

"Hmm… Why do you say that?"

"Say what?"

"That we're chalk and cheese."

"Oh Marty. You are. She likes people! You don't." Joan could see the scowl on his face deepen as she said this, and she knew she must be getting a bit close to the issue for comfort. "I'm not criticising you Martin, but you're very different people you and Louisa"

"If by that you mean that I say what I think, I don't have a predisposition toward a convenient lie, then yes, guilty as charged".

"Oh shut up Marty, that's not what I'm talking about. Two people who are different can have very a successful relationship, but you need to work on it. Your uncle Phil and I were chalk and cheese, and we had a very happy marriage. But the point is, you have to recognise the differences in your temperaments and make adjustments".

Martin exploded at this. "But that's just the thing! I don't know what it is that I've even done wrong. Every time I open my mouth with Louisa I seem to muck it up. It's useless." He stood up and walked to the sink, grabbing the dishcloth, furiously washing the already clean coffee cup. Joan could feel the frustration coming off him in waves. Poor boy. He must really care for Louisa, and yet has no idea how to really be with her. Hardly surprising with the example of a 'happy' relationship that his parents gave him. Bloody Christopher and Margaret. How Martin turned out as a functioning adult was a miracle in itself.

"Martin, if I had a set of symptoms and you couldn't diagnose an illness, what would you do"

Her change in conversation direction and tone startled him enough to turn and look at her, dish water and bubbles dripping off his hands into the sink. "What?"

"If I was a patient who came to your surgery and presented a number of unique and seemingly unconnected symptoms, what would you do?"

"Well simple, I'd run a number of tests to find out more information. Basic blood tests can rule out or confirm a myriad of illnesses without intrusive examinations."

"And what if the blood tests came back and found nothing wrong"

"Is there a point to these questions? Because I'd really better be getting on"

"Oh sit down Martin I'm trying to help you" He grunted, wiped his hands and came back to sit at the table opposite her.

"Look Martin. I don't know what happened between you and Louisa the other night, and frankly I don't care – that's between the two of you. But what I do care about is you Martin… I want you to be happy. I know you care about Louisa and want a relationship with her, and I think there's a way I can help you, if you're willing to listen? If not, tell me it's none of my business and I'll be on my way"

They sat in silence, her offer hanging in the air. Finally, after what seemed an eternity to Joan, he looked up unto her eyes and nodded. "Alright."

"Right. So if a patient at the surgery presented a number of symptoms that didn't fit any illness that you were aware of, what would you do?"

He sighed, "Aunty Joan, I still don't understand how this has any relevance to the mess with Louisa and I?"

"What I'm getting at Martin, is play to your strengths. Use the skills that you have as a doctor to figure out how to be in a relationship with a person who is your complete opposite."

"Right, so you're suggesting I read a bunch of romance books and start sprouting poetry off a balcony to her."

"If that's what it takes Martin, then yes! Research the problem. You are not the first person in the history of mankind to fall for someone who is their complete opposite. Research and come up with a strategy for how you're going to be in a relationship with Louisa and how you can make it work long term."

"And let me tell you Martin, it will be hard. Relationships are hard work at the best of times, and with you being you, you're going to have to work at it twice as hard. And if after you've done your research, you decide it's not worth the trouble, well then so be it. But if you do think this thing with Louisa is worth pursuing, at least you might have half a chance at actually being successful!"

He looked stunned at this, his mouth opening and closing a few times but no words coming out. She rose from the table and headed to the door. He had a lot to think about tonight, and she could only hope that he'd take what she had said and act on it.

As she reached the door, he called out to her softly. "What if it's not enough though? What if I do this and she still doesn't want to see me anymore?"

"Well Martin, you're going to have to decide if that's a risk you're willing to take. Will the chance to be in a relationship with Louisa be enough for you to take the risk?" And with those parting words, she left.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a few days later when Martin finally sat down at the surgery computer to start his research project. He still wasn't 100 per cent sold on the idea, truth be told, but his desire to be with Louisa apparently had no limits. And if this is what he needed to do in order to give himself the best shot of being with her, he was going to do it.

Now that he was actually here though, he was struggling with where to begin. He sat idly, staring at the screen. Taking a deep breath, he slowly started typing into the search box.

Relationship, opposite personalities, successful

The screen populated with results, and he slowly began scrolling. Martin sighed, and after flicking through a few articles, clicked through to one that caught his attention.

_Opposites Attract – 6 tips for dating your total opposite_

_So, you've met someone who is your complete opposite, and you're struggling to find the happy balance between you? We're here to help. We've spoken with relationship experts and have compiled a list of 6 sure fire tips to help you navigate your relationship with your total opposite._

_Tip 1: Compromise_

_Compromise__ is key in most healthy relationships, but it's especially important if you're dating your complete opposite! Compromising can be for small things, like going to watch your partner's favourite sport team even though you don't follow the sport. It can also be big things, like planning a vacation to a destination that you're not interested in going to, but will make your partner happy._

_Compromising is key, and one thing to remember is your partner will be making these kinds of sacrifices for you, too._

_Tip 2: Set up boundaries_

_Boundaries aren't bad things! They aren't designed to be controlling or manipulative. Your boundaries might include things that make you uncomfortable to talk about, kinds of jokes you don't want to hear, how you want to be spoken to, or things you need your partner to not do when you're around. They're ways to communicate what you need to be happy and to feel safe in your relationship. Making boundaries in your relationship will help both you and your partner in the long run, and hopefully lead to a long and happy relationship._

_Tip 3: Plan in advance_

_Planning is key when opposites attract. Because you're both so different, it_ _can be_ _helpful to create a "Likes and Dislikes" list for some things. For example, create a list of restaurants with three categories: I like, My Partner Likes, We Both Like. That way, when you're deciding where to do for dinner, you can go somewhere you both like. And it's great for when you want to spoil your partner by taking them somewhere they love! This also works well with other things like vacation spots, leisure activities etc, so whip out those notepads and get cracking!_

_Tip 4: Find something you both like_

_There are a million different activities you can do as a couple and there is bound to be one or two that you and your partner enjoy doing together. It may take some time, but the effort that you put into finding a mutually enjoyable will benefit you both in the long run. While you're figuring this out, you may want to create a "Likes and Dislikes" list to keep track._

_Tip 5: Practice empathy_

_When your partner is getting frustrated with you, put yourself in their shoes for a minute. Practicing empathy is a great way to take your anger down a notch, so you can resolve conflict. Take note of things that upset your partner, and things that your partner does that upset you. If you notice a pattern, talk to your partner about setting boundaries so you can avoid conflict in the future._

_Tip 6: Communication_

_Communication is key when opposites are in a relationship. Your partner can't read your mind, so speak up and talk to your partner and tell them what's on your mind. If you have trouble verbalising, write a letter. This can help you sort out your thoughts and feelings, and your partner will appreciate the effort you took to communicate with them._

_So there you have it. If you're dating your opposite and scratching your head about how it's never going to work out, fear not. Just remember, you can't put these tips into action alone. You and your partner both need to be on board._

Martin sat back after reading the article. Nothing really stood out as ground breaking for him, it was mostly common sense, but thinking critically about it there were definitely things that, had he thought about them before his disastrous date with Louisa, the outcome may have been different. With all the introspection he'd done since Louisa had fled the car, Martin knew that he'd been rather selfish in his relationship with Louisa, and hadn't considered her feelings at all. He was the one that left her to take the lead, he was the one that ruined each moment they'd had, he was the one that didn't consider her feelings, her needs, her wants. _Hopefully it's not too late._ He thought glumly.

Martin sighed again. _Lists. I can do lists._ He pulled out a sheet of paper, and began writing.

**I like:**

Clocks

Butterflies

Surgery

Aunty Joan

Peace and quiet

**Louisa likes:**

People

Portwenn

Teaching

Children

Wine

Talking

**We like:**

Martin sighed, so far there wasn't anything to go on the 'We Like' column.

At that moment, Pauline poked her head round the door. "Doc, you finished lunch? Your next patient is here."

"Right, send them through." He shuffled the paper into his desk draw and stood up to greet his patient. This would have to wait till later.

**XxxxxxxxxX**

**Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to review my story - I really ****appreciate**** your kind words and encouragement.**

**I should probably add in here that I don't own anything, none of these characters belong to me.**

**For the article that Martin read in this chapter, I summarised an article from titled '11 Tips for dating your total opposite & having a successful, happy relationship'. They take all the credit for that content. **


	4. Chapter 4

Surgery had finished for the day, and Martin was currently walking down to the Market to pick up some fish for supper. He rounded the corner and ran smack bang into someone. Instinctively he grabbed to steady the person and, as he did, he got a faint waft of Kenzo Flower. Looking down, he saw it was Louisa whom he was currently holding.

"Martin!"

"Louisa… are you alright?"

"I'm fine, thank you Martin"

"Right…"

Silence hung in the air between them, and Martin didn't notice he was still holding onto Louisa until he saw her glance down at his hands on her waist. "Uh… Sorry." He took a step back. Louisa looked nervously around them, biting her lower lip in a way that Martin found extremely distracting. "You… ahh… shopping for tea?"

Louisa quirked her eyebrows and lifted the plastic bags she was currently holding into view. "Yes Martin, just heading back home now".

"Ahh… right… Umm. Good." They stood together in silence for a few seconds, before Louisa forced a smile and a nod of her head at him. "Well see you later then, Martin"

She took off past him at a brisk pace. _Say something you idiot!_

"Uh Louisa! Do you have any hobbies?"

_Oh God, why did that come out? She'll think I'm mad. _Louisa stopped in her tracks and spun around to him. He had a slightly panicked look on his face. "Do I have any hobbies?"

"Uhhh… yes… Hobbies. You know, an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for enjoyment?"

"I know what a hobby is Martin, what I don't understand is why you're suddenly asking about them?"

"Oh… just ah… Making conversation?" She was looking at him like he'd sprouted a second head. He could feel himself beginning to blush, and hated that his body was giving his discomfort away. Her gaze turned critical.

"We've known each other for three years, gone on a couple of crap dates where you've never even asked a single question about my life, and after I tell you I don't think we should see each other anymore, _now_ you ask me what my hobbies are?"

"Uhh.. well…. I… ahhh…"

"I don't understand you Martin!"

He looked at her, eyes wide at her outburst. She was looking at him like she expected him to say something, and he wracked his brain for something, anything that he could say that wouldn't provoke more anger from her.

"… You thought our date was crap?"

She shook her head and sighed wearily, looking disappointed.

"I'm sorry Martin, but I just don't have the energy for this, for us today. I'll see you round"

"Oh…. Goodbye Louisa."

He watched her walk up the hill for a few steps, before noticing that a few of the locals were watching their interaction. He quickly turned on his heel and strode purposefully towards the market.

**XxxxxxxxX**

Just a short one today, but I'll post the next chapter shortly :)


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night after supper, Martin was once again sitting in his consulting room, paper strewn out in front of him, his disastrous meeting with Louisa fresh in his mind.

He'd visited a few more websites, and even consulted a few medical journals which went into detail about various experiments done with personalities. One in particular, where the subjects were monkeys was rather interesting, but in his opinion, not very useful for his current predicament.

But, after reviewing the materials, a pattern of advice was emerging. Communication. Although they varied in their suggested delivery, all the articles and papers he'd read had said that communication was key for a successful relationship.

One of the articles he'd read, penned by a highly respected psychologist, Dr Eric Conlon, had suggested writing a letter to your partner. Dr Conlon had gone on to explain that it could help remove the barriers and roadblocks in a relationship, particularly for people who struggled to communicate verbally. It would give a chance to work through feelings, patterns of behaviour, emotional responses without the stress of your partner in front of you, forcing an answer. The letter itself didn't need to be sent, it was the act of writing it that was important. Dr Conlon had finished the article by saying that it was important to keep the letter, or letters, and refer back to them frequently. This would subconsciously keep the channels of communication open and allow you to more successfully engage with your partner long term.

Trouble was, he was rubbish at communicating, particularly when it came to feelings and emotions. The thought of opening himself up to Louisa, particularly as she wasn't exactly receptive at the moment filled him with terror. _But_, he thought, _I need to try, because I'm not sure I can live without her, now that I know what it's like to be close to her. I won't be sending the letter either, it's just to open up the subconscious channels of communication, whatever that means._

So here he was, sitting at his desk with a piece of paper in front of him, pen in hand.

_Louisa,_

_I've been reading a number of articles and journals lately, mainly focussed on opposite personalities creating successful partnerships, and a number of them suggest that communication is key to a healthy relationship._

_One article in particular, suggests that I should write a letter to you, to tell you my thoughts and feelings. This letter is not one that I will send to you, but apparently it will help me communicate better when I'm with you. Which is what I want. I want to be with you, in a relationship._

_I'm not sure where I should start this letter, never having done anything like this before. I guess the logical place to start would be at the beginning, when I first saw you on that tiny passenger plane headed for Cornwell. You were sitting opposite me, wearing a pink top and spotty skirt. My first impression of you was that you were a beautiful, healthy-looking woman, early 30's, with a semi-dilated pupil in her right eye._

_When we met again, later that day after the interview, I confirmed my diagnosis of Acute Glaucoma by examining your cornea. As I reached out to touch your face, I felt a jolt of electricity, like I'd never felt before, shoot through my body. As you walked away, I headed back into the room to talk to the panel and was so shaken by our encounter that I turned to watch you leave, hitting my head on the door in the process. I don't know why, but our meeting that day shook me to the core, and it's been that way ever since. Every time we've met since I get the same feeling of electricity running through my veins. I've run tests, of course. Ruled out any illnesses, in particular Lhermitte's Phenonium, which has similar symptoms to those I was displaying, but they have all come up negative, which must mean that the ventral tegmental area of my brain is being flooded by chemicals, producing a variety of physical and emotional responses to seeing you—racing hearts, sweaty palms, flushed cheeks, feelings of passion and anxiety etc._

Here Martin paused, putting his pen on the table. Doing nothing but reviewing his relationship with Louisa in his head for the last few nights had taught him two things.

1\. He was mostly to blame for their lack of progress with their relationship. His fears of letting anyone in was sabotaging his attempts at being with Louisa.

2\. Louisa had told him repeatedly that she didn't want a medical lecture, particularly when they followed an amorous encounter.

He sighed, and looked over the last paragraph he had written. He was giving her a medical lecture in a letter that he wasn't even going to send. He ran his hand through his hair, and picked up his pen to continue.

_Louisa, I feel at this moment that I need to apologise and explain. You have told me on a number of occasions that you don't want a medical lecture from me. What I should have written above, is that I ruled out a number of illnesses, concluding that I must be in love with you._

_I don't mean to ruin our private moments with a lecture, it's just that Medicine is the only thing that I've ever been good at. When I'm with you, particularly when I've let my guard down enough to be intimate with you… kiss you, which is exquisite by the way, often I don't think and say the first thing that comes into my head, which is generally something medical. I wasn't criticising you the other day when I was talking about pheromones and your perfume, but I realise now that you may see it that way._

_Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting like hormones outside the body of the secreting individual, to impact the behaviour of the receiving individuals, and there are many types of pheromones including alarm, food trail, sex, and many others that affect behaviour or physiology. I find the subject incredibly interesting, and I assumed you would as well. I see now that I upset you, and for that I'm sorry. The whole drive back from the concert, I was desperately trying to find something to say to you to redeem the situation, but as usual I couldn't. And then you uttered those words that, even now, days later still shake me to the core._

_I don't want to see you anymore._

_I don't plan on this letter seeing the light of day, so I can tell you that you broke my heart when you said those words. I felt like I was in cardiac arrest, and my heart had stopped beating. You mean so much to me Louisa, and the thought that I will never be with you is unbearable. I know I can live without you… I have done so for 43 years quite successfully. But I don't want to. I don't want to live without you._

_It's getting late now, so I'll finish this here. I hope writing this helps, but to be perfectly honest it seems rather stupid and pointless. But I guess that goes to show how desperate I am. I'm willing to try anything, because I don't want to contemplate a future where we only meet as casual and indifferent acquaintances._

_M.E._

Martin placed his pen down and perused the paper he'd spent the last few hours drafting, before folding it and placing it in a blank envelope on the table and sealing it shut. He picked up his pen and wrote neatly on the front. _Louisa._

Sitting back in his chair he held the envelope, considering his next move. It was later than he'd have liked to go to bed, but there was nothing to be done for it now. He pulled his desk drawer open, ready to place the envelope in, when the phone in the main surgery rang. Phone calls on the surgery line at this time of night could only mean one thing, and he dropped the envelope on the desk before darting out to answer the phone. "Ellingham…. Have you called an ambulance? Right, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Hanging up, Martin dashed into the consulting room grabbed his medical bag and shot out the door, not giving his letter to Louisa another thought.

It had been a long night. There had been a car accident up on the Moors, and it had taken the ambulance crew and himself several hours to get all the patients out of the wreck and on their way to hospital. Afterwards, he had made his way home, showered and quickly fallen asleep mere hours before his alarm would wake him. As a result, he was rather sluggish this morning, and was still putting his tie and jacket on when he heard Pauline shout out to him. "Mornin Doc. I'm headin' up to the post box to send those patient records to Wadebridge. You got anything you need posted?"

Martin, having finished getting dressed, headed down the stairs to make himself an espresso, called out. "There's a couple of bills on my desk that need posting."

"Right Doc see you in a bit. Your first patient is here, I'll send them through."

Martin pulled the cup from the machine and headed into the consulting room to start the day.


	6. Chapter 6

Louisa sat on her couch, glass of wine half-drunk sitting on the coffee table long forgotten, pages from a letter she'd been reading hanging limply in her hand, staring off into space.

It had been a pretty uneventful day at the school, but that had all changed once she'd gotten home and found an envelope in her mailbox, no post-marks, her name on the front. She hadn't thought much of it, hadn't even bothered opening it until after she'd finished with supper and was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine.

Her attention came back to the pages in front of her. Of all the things she expected to see when opening the inconspicuous envelope earlier tonight, a letter from Martin Ellingham was not one of them. From the contents of the letter, she assumed that Martin wasn't the one that put it in her mailbox, yet she couldn't deny that the letter was from him. She'd recognise his neat scrawl anywhere. Yet if he didn't put it in her mailbox, who did?

She sighed, and thought about the contents of the letter. She shuddered to think how he'd react when he found that this letter, clearly not written for her or anyone to see, was missing. Or how he'd react with her, knowing she'd probably read it. But despite his, most likely volatile reaction, she was glad it had been sent. Glad she was given this little insight into his thoughts.

Ever since she'd met him, she'd felt drawn to him and she was sure he'd felt it too. Over the years she'd made countless attempts to bring them both closer together, but they'd all been fraught with disaster. Every time she'd made them take a step forward in their relationship, something would happen, usually Martin putting his big foot in his mouth, and they'd take ten steps back! Things had come to a head the other night though, when they'd gone to an amateur opera evening where her friend Holly was playing as part of the band.

The evening itself had been nice, Martin was his usual taciturn self, but they'd been having a good time. When he'd taken her hand on the walk back to the car, Louisa had thought that they'd finally been on the same page, and she'd pulled him into the alcove to kiss because she didn't think she could wait until they got home. And it was exquisite, like the other kisses they'd shared. Their connection was palpable, and everything, for that single moment, was perfect between them. And then he'd opened his mouth, sprouting some nonsense about her perfume and urine, and she'd come crashing back to reality.

She knew she was being hard on him. He couldn't help it, but it hurt her so much every time that they'd get close and he'd ruin it. And at the concert it was like something finally snapped inside of her, and she just knew that she couldn't keep going on this way. People often joked that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Well she was certainly guilty of that with Martin, but not anymore. Something had to change, and judging by the letter in her hands, he recognised that too. A small smile formed on her face as she thought about how much he must have hated writing the letter, even doing the research. She was touched to think that he cared enough to do it for her, even though she could tell he thought the whole thing was ridiculous.

Now the question was, what should she do about it? Should she ignore it? Return it to him and promise that she wouldn't mention it? Answer it? She sighed. This would be so much easier if they could just talk openly, but then again, it wouldn't be Martin if they could, and she truly meant what she'd said to him a few months ago, she liked him the way he was. Of course there were little things that she wouldn't mind tweaking, but he was, in essentials, a good man that she was in love with. Louisa smiled to herself, there really was only one option… to respond and see how it went. She really had nothing to lose at this point.

She got up, grabbed her laptop from her bag, sat back down on the couch, opened her email, and started typing.

**XxxxxxxxX**

**Thank you so much to everyone who has sent in a review of my story - it's nice to know that people are enjoying it and I appreciate the time taken to write to me. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Martin was frantic. Surgery had closed, he'd had dinner and decided to write another letter to Louisa. He'd gone to the consulting room and had decided to peruse his letter from last night, when he realised it wasn't in the drawer ... or on the desk… or anywhere that he could find. He'd torn the house apart looking for the letter and was currently going through the consulting room for a third time. It had to be here. It was only last night that he'd written it.

_Alright, stop and think. When was the last time I saw the letter?_ He thought to himself. _I was sitting at my desk, sealed the envelope, opened the drawer and the phone rung… Oh no. I must have dropped it on the desk…_ Martin quickly pulled out his mobile phone, scrolling through his contacts and dialled Pauline's number.

"Pick up dammit" he exclaimed impatiently.

Finally, after what seems an eternity she answered the phone. "Doc? Something the matter? It's nearly 10 o'clock!"

"Pauline, this morning when you picked up those letters from my desk, how many did you take?"

"What? I dunno a couple? Why?"

"Pauline there was an important letter on my desk that's gone missing. Did you take a letter addressed to Louisa."

He held his breath, already knowing the answer. "Oh yer, I dropped that one off to her house on my way to the box. Why, what was in the letter, Doc? Wasn't I supposed to send it?..."

He interrupted her questions by terminating the call. She'd be insufferable in the morning, but the bigger issue here was that Louisa had the letter. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been to leave it on the desk.

Oh God. What will she think of me? He slumped down into his chair, cradling his head in his hands. Maybe she hasn't checked her mailbox? He shot up at that, out the door, and was on his way to Louisa's house.

As he neared, he slowed down, glancing around him, not seeing anyone around. _Not that that means no one is watching._ He thought bitterly. _But there's nothing to be done for it._ He silently approached her house, before realising, with dismay that her mailbox was simply a slot in the front door. He stood still, knowing he should go home, that people would notice him here, yet his feet felt cemented to the spot. He could see the light on inside. _Knock_. _Maybe she hasn't read it? Oh that's rubbish, of course she's read it._ Shaking his head, he slowly turned on his heel and made his way back home. It was going to be a long, restless night.


	8. Chapter 8

He couldn't move. He was sitting at his desk, after having spent most of the night unable to sleep. He'd gotten up early to tidy up after his frantic search for the lost letter last night. He'd finished, had his breakfast and come into the consulting room to check his emails before Pauline was due in, and there, sitting in his inbox was an email. From Louisa. The subject revealed what he'd already known in his heart, that she'd received the letter and read it. So here he was, staring at the screen, terrified of clicking the email open for what it might reveal. Would she be happy? Angry? Would she still refuse to see him. All night in his head he'd been going over what her various reactions to reading his letter had been. And even still, he wasn't prepared for this.

He took a deep breath, and clicked open the email.

_Dear Martin,_

_First of all, I just want to say calm down. I know you're probably freaking out, and to be honest I'm not sure how the letter that you wrote ended up on my doorstep, but I'm glad that it did._

_Before I get into it, I feel I need to apologise for the last time we met – yesterday by the harbour. You asked me a question about my hobbies and I jumped down your neck. I was tired and frustrated and I took it out on you._

_As to your question, I don't really have any hobbies. I tried surfing a few years ago (for Surf Club), but I was rubbish at it, and never went and did it again. Why do you ask? Do you have any hobbies besides your clocks?_

_Now about the letter you wrote, Martin there are a couple of things that I think we really need to discuss before we can consider… more. It's really sweet, and I'm touched that you want to be in a relationship with me, and I do with you as well, but Martin, every time that we get close, something happens that pushes us apart? And I won't deny that sometimes it's you! You cannot be that daft and think that when a woman kisses you, she wants to hear about how bad her breath is! Or about how she smells like urine! You're a smart man, Martin, but sometimes you're utterly stupid! You're not obliged to ruin every private moment between us, and for future reference, if we're engaging in… activities, or heck, just having a conversation about anything, unless I'm there to see you as a patient I don't want to hear a medical lecture, or anything related to medicine at all! Got it?_

_Now I know that you wrote your letter to me with the intention of it never being sent, but now that it has, maybe you could write to me again? Tell me about you! We've known each other for three years and I don't really know much about you except that you were a surgeon, you have a blood phobia and you like fish! If we're really going to make a go of it, as you mentioned, we need to learn to communicate. Maybe this can help us? You said once that very little of what I say or do makes any sense to you. What did you mean by that? I want us to get along Martin. I want us to understand each other. If I say something that you don't understand, ask me! And in turn, I'm going to try and not get frustrated when you don't say what I think you should. I know I have a short temper, and when I get frustrated with your taciturn nature it comes out. I'm sorry for that._

_Anyway, it's getting rather late, and I have to work in the morning, so I'll finish this off with one final note – you told me in your letter your first impression of me, now I'll tell you about mine._

_I remember sitting in your interview fuming as the other panel members were fawning over you. All I could think was how much of a creep you were on the plane staring at me, and that you wouldn't last five minutes in the village. And then as I went to leave, you enquired about my eye and you touched my face, and Martin, I felt it too. It was like the whole world slowed down and there was only you and me. You're an extraordinary man, Martin Ellingham, and I really hope we can take this opportunity to get to know one another better._

_Louisa._

_P.S. I'm in love with you too._

_P.P.S I swear if you tell me I'm a stalker again I will __**not**_ _be responsible for my actions!_

Martin sat back in his chair and let out his breath. _That could have been so much worse._ He thought. _But, she's giving me a chance, now I just have to make sure I don't blow it somehow._ He heard the front door open, and Pauline come through to her desk. His response wasn't something he wanted to rush, so he closed his emails down, stood up and went to start the day.


	9. Chapter 9

_To: Louisa Glasson_  
_From: Martin Ellingham_  
_Subject: RE: Your letter_

_Louisa,_

_You were right in your assumption that I never meant to send the letter. But, as usually happens around here, things conspire against me. _

_There is no need for you to apologise about the way you behaved when I met you in the harbour the other day. I know that I've mucked it up between us enough times that by now you must be fed up. I was asking about your hobbies because in the research that I have conducted it suggested writing a list of the things you and your partner each like, and then a third list with activities that we both enjoy. I have drafted up a list, but I must admit that I couldn't find any common activities. I don't have any hobbies besides 'clocks' as you put it. When I was a child, I enjoyed playing chess, but haven't played since school. I enjoy keeping up to date with the latest in the medical community, but I won't bore you with the details, as you mentioned, I'm not to speak of it unless you're here as a patient. _

_You've asked me to tell you something about myself. I'm not sure exactly what you would want to know. I had a fairly normal childhood. My parents sent me to boarding school at the age of six, and in the holidays (until I was 12) I would come and stay with Auntie Joan and Uncle Phil. After finishing school, I went on to study and practice as a vascular surgeon, and after I developed my phobia, I retrained as a GP and am now in Portwenn._

_I appreciate you suggesting that we take this opportunity to learn to communicate better. Most of the research I conducted said communication was key to successful relationships. Of course most of it is pseudoscience claptrap, but these Psychologists swear by it._

Martin lent back in his chair, rereading his email before hit the send button. He'd deliberated what to say all day, and happy with what he'd written, added his name to the bottom and clicked send. Getting up, he decided to make himself a cup of tea, before finishing up some patient notes that he'd skipped earlier.

After making the tea, he settled back at the computer ready to shut it down, before noticing that Louisa had already written back. He clicked the message open.

_To: Martin Ellingham_  
_From: Louisa Glasson_  
_Subject: Talk to me!_

_Martin, If this communication is going to help us move forward, then you actually need to open up. How you can possibly sum up your entire childhood into two sentences is beyond me. If you're having trouble thinking of topics, start with these:_

_1\. Tell me about your time at school - what were your favourite subjects, what did you get up to with your friends, how was it being at a boarding school from such a young age?_

_2\. Tell me about your holidays with Joan and Phil. What's your favourite memory with them?_

_Louisa_

Martin sighed. Why she needed so many details was beyond him. Still he knew he was rubbish at this so if she wanted more, then he'd better dig a bit deeper.

_To: Louisa Glasson_  
_From: Martin Ellingham_  
_Subject: RE: Talk to me!_

_Louisa,_

_Ah right, sorry, more details:_

_My time at school was I think, fairly normal. As I said, I was sent to boarding school at age six, and stayed there until completion. I enjoyed all my lessons at school, I was an eager student. I didn't have many friends, preferring to spend my time in the library when not in class. My favourite subjects at school were science and mathematics. _

_For the summer holidays, from ages six to twelve, I came and stayed with Aunty Joan and Uncle Phil. I think summertimes at the farm are some of my happiest as a child. Nothing extraordinary would happen, well at least nothing that I recall now, but I always remember a feeling of being loved while being there. Some of my fondest memories were with Joan when we'd walk out over the field to watch the ships passing the harbour. Sometimes we'd take a picnic, other times we wouldn't. _

Martin stopped typing and stared out the screen. Just telling each other about their childhood wasn't going to get them far along the road to reconciliation, he knew it was going to take more than that. They needed to ask each other the hard questions, and there were plenty of hard questions he was desperate to ask her, mostly centred around why a beautiful, charming, desirable woman wanted to be with an awkward, rude, grumpy bugger like him.

Trouble was, it terrified him to think about opening himself up like that. What if she discovered that after all this, that he really was undateable? His father had joked the last time he saw him that he'd have to drug a woman to get her to come home with him. What if, after opening up to Louisa, she decided that he really wasn't worth it? It'd crush him. But. He thought. I'm already miserable, so how much worse could it get? He looked back to the screen and started typing.

_Louisa, you said in your earlier email that I could ask you if there was something that I don't understand? I know I'm not the best catch, I know I'm grumpy, rude, impatient and socially awkward. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met… you could have any man you want, and I'm struggling to see what you'd want with someone like me?_

Martin stopped, and re-read the last paragraph. Did he dare send it. That was the question. He was desperate to know but afraid of the answer. Taking a deep breath, he quickly put his name at the bottom of the email, and pushed 'send'.


	10. Chapter 10

Louisa sighed. She'd just finished reading Martin's email, and truth be told it saddened her. The clinical way he'd described his childhood - no friends, and parents who clearly couldn't wait to get rid of him. It broke her heart. And then at the end, asking what she saw in a man like him? Couldn't he see how amazing he was? Sure, he wasn't the life of the party, but he had substance.

She was interrupted in her thoughts by a knock at the door. Getting up, she could see the outline of Joan through the frosted glass and opened the door to greet her. "Hello Joan, what brings you around?"

"Hello Louisa. I had a few extra vegetables and thought you might like some." Joan walked in through the door and put the basket she was carrying on the table.

"Oh that's lovely, thank you Joan."

"You're welcome Louisa. How have you been?"

"Alright, like a cuppa?"

"I'd love one, thanks." Louisa made her way to the kitchen and started filling up the pot. Joan sat at the table and looking over at Louisa, commented. "How are you really Louisa? I heard you and Martin didn't see eye to eye at the concert the other day?"

Louisa looked sharply at Joan. "Why, who said that?"

"Oh relax Louisa, I ran into Marty the next day and he was awfully glum. I couldn't get a peep out of him… Was he his usual charming self?" She asked sarcastically.

"You know, the relationship between Martin and I is no-ones business except ours, thank you very much." With a stern look, Louisa handed Joan her tea and took a seat opposite her at the table.

"Oh alright. I know it's no-ones business but I care about you two... but I can see you don't want to talk about it so I'll keep my mouth shut."

They sat in silence as they both sipped on their tea. Joan could see the frustration in Louisa bubbling just under the surface and hoped she'd prodded enough to get it to come up. Shaking her head, Louisa sighed. "It's just I don't understand Martin at all! On one hand, he's this incredibly brilliant man who exudes confidence, knows exactly what he wants and takes control of the situation… And on the other hand it's like he's a lost little boy! How can one man be so contradictory?"

Suppressing a smile, Joan replied "Aaaah… So what's he done this time?"

Louisa flinched at this. She desperately wanted to understand Martin, but knew he'd be furious if she divulged to his Aunt the letter that he wrote to her. Getting up from the table to grab the chocolate biscuits, she offered one to Joan, then took one herself and started chewing on the edges.

"Oh nothing, sorry Joan, he hasn't done anything… I'm just venting."

"Louisa, I can see you're frustrated with him… I could see it the other night at the concert too. But surely it's not a surprise to you… you've known Martin for almost three years now. Did you think that he would magically become a different person when the two of you went out? That he'd become verbose and talk your ear off?"

"Oh of course not Joan, I like Martin the way he is. It's just… oh never mind, it's just something Martin and I have to work out, I guess."

Joan could see Louisa was clearly holding back from sharing what the real issue was, and not wanting to press too deeply she took a final sip of her tea and stood up to leave.

"I can see that you care about him Louisa, and I know he cares for you too. Just take care… you're two very different people, and you will have to learn how to be together. Being in a relationship doesn't come naturally to a man like Martin. Especially with the rotten example of a 'happy family life' set by my charming brother and his horrid wife. Be patient with him... Teach him how to be the partner you need. He'll get there in the end, just give him time."

And with those parting words Joan left, closing the door behind her.

Louisa sat nursing her tea long after Joan had departed, thinking over what she'd said.

_You're two very different people, and you will have to learn how to be together._

Is that what Martin was doing with his letter? Trying to find out how they could be together?

_Did you think that he would magically become a different person when the two of you went out? That he'd become verbose and talk your ear off?_

Truth be told, a small part of Louisa did think that going out with Martin would change him, even a little bit. She now could see how ridiculous that was. If she wanted a suave, outgoing man she'd have followed Danny to London. But that wasn't what she wanted, so why was she expecting Martin to be those things? It was unfair of her, and she knew she'd need to stop being unrealistic in her expectations with him. Putting him in situations that she knew he'd struggle with, and then getting frustrated when he didn't behave as she expected him to was setting him up to fail… it wasn't fair on him, and they certainly weren't going to be successful as a couple if they continued down that route.

_Teach him how to be the partner you need. He'll get there in the end, just give him time._

Could she teach Martin how to be in a relationship with her? It's not something she'd ever contemplated before. People just knew how to be in a relationship, didn't they? She'd never learned... But then again, Joan had said he'd had a rotten example set by his parents. What could that mean? In his email he'd said his childhood was fairly normal, but reading between the lines Louisa knew that wasn't necessarily the case. Of course, normal was a relative thing. Louisa thought her own childhood was normal, but looking back she knew it was far from it. A mum who left on holiday and never came back, and a dad who spent more time out gambling then at home with his daughter. It was a miracle she'd made it through relatively unscathed.

Maybe Martin was onto something with his letter. It showed he was willing to try, willing to learn. Maybe this was her chance to help him, like he'd done with her so many times over the years. She could teach him… they could teach each other how to be together.

Louisa knew he must be feeling incredibly vulnerable at the moment, to have his private thoughts read by a person who said they never wanted to see you again. And then his own reply to her email so so typically Martin. So confident, yet so uncertain. How he could doubt his own self worth was beyond her. Jumping up from the table, she grabbed her laptop from her bag and sat back down and started typing.


	11. Chapter 11

_To: Martin Ellingham  
From: Louisa Glasson  
Subject: Fresh start_

_Martin, _

_Thank you for opening up to me about your childhood. Your memories with Joan and Phil are really sweet. I know for a fact that they loved you, and I'm glad that you can look back on those memories with fondness._

_How can you doubt what I see in you? You are incredibly smart and brave, you have the best intentions, and yes, you can sometimes come across as gruff and rude, but you mean well. Martin Ellingham you are an extraordinary man, and you should never doubt that. _

Louisa paused here, and thought about what Joan had said about teaching him how to her partner.

Well here goes nothing, she thought.

_Martin, if this is going to work between us, I think we need to start fresh and teach each other how to be the best partner we can so this relationship can work. So, with that in mind, thank you for your compliment about me being beautiful. For the record, you can compliment me anytime you want… A woman always enjoys hearing a sincere compliment from her beau. And about what you said… I don't want just any man, I want you._

_As you've told me a little about your childhood, it's only fair that I reciprocate. I know you met my father in less than ideal circumstances, but he's a good man at heart. My mum left us when I was little - she went on a holiday to Spain and just never came back. It was really tough on my Dad and after she left, he spent more and more time at the racetrack. It wasn't until I was about 16 that he finally hit rock bottom and the controversy around the missing lifeboat money meant he needed to leave town. He told me he'd be back when things had calmed down… but he never returned permanently. I know I'm not painting him in the best light, but he was a good father and he did the best that he could. Some of my favourite memories with him were us sitting together eating his special Sunday Dinner (Beans on Toast) laughing and joking around. _

_You said you stopped going to Joan and Phil's farm when you were twelve. Why was that?_

_Anyway, I'll sign off now. I've got to finish writing the Governors Report before tomorrow. _

_Love Louisa._

Martin sat back in his chair, a small smile gracing his face. Surgery had finished for the day and Pauline had left. He knew he should leave the computer and go and cook his supper as it was nearing six, but the temptation to read the email he'd seen in his inbox this morning was too great.

He scrolled back to the top, his eyes darting over the words until they came to rest on the single sentence he knew had the power to erase from his heart her words from the night of the concert.

_I don't want just any man, I want you._

She wanted him! She actually said she wanted him. Martin could feel his heart beating in his chest, and could feel what he'd heard people refer to as 'butterflies' in his stomach. Of course he knew that the sensation was caused by a reduction of blood flow to the stomach, but the description was accurate.

He looked at the clock, it was nearing 6.15pm. Dinner be damned tonight, this was more important. He started typing.

_To: Louisa Glasson  
From: Martin Ellingham  
Subject: RE: Fresh start_

_Louisa,_

_Your suggestion of a fresh start is a good idea. I know I'm not very good at this sort of thing, being in a relationship… but I want to be with you, so if you could help me learn how to do that I think it could work. I'm not sure that there's anything that I can teach you (as I'm rubbish at it), but as I have said before, sometimes I find it hard to understand what you're talking about. When I guess I seem to get it wrong, you get cross and often I have no idea why. So if you could tell me what you want so I don't need to guess, I'd be grateful for that._

_As a boy, I never knew why I stopped going to visit the farm. I assumed at the time that Joan and Phil had gotten sick of me coming. I have since found out that my parents disagreed with some of the choices Joan made and stopped sending me as a result. After that I spent most holidays at school only coming home for the required time over the summer break._

Martin stopped. She said she liked sincere compliments. He hated this… This is what he struggled with most, getting the words out. But she had said she wanted him. He took a deep breath and continued.

_Louisa, I was being sincere when I said you were beautiful. Every day I stand out on my front landing looking across to the school, hoping that I'll be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of you. I know I've said before that I'm rubbish at all this, but I want so desperately to be better at it... I know it's always me that mucks it all up, but I'm trying… for you I'd try anything. _

_Yours,_

_Martin_

Martin sat there looking at what he'd written for a long time. He knew he wasn't being entirely forthcoming with information about why he'd stopped coming to the farm, but he didn't think it was his story to share. He re-read his last paragraph, and thought it sounded awkward and forced. He hated that he was so bad at this. How hard is it to compliment a beautiful woman that you're in love with? He thought. Sighing again, knowing that it wasn't going to get any better the more he looked at it, he moved his hand back over to the mouse and clicked send.

**XxxxxxxxX**

**AN: Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing my story - it's great to know that you're enjoying it. Also I'd just like to say a quick thanks to my Beta ****jd517 who took time from her busy schedule to review my work :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Louisa sat in bed with a silly grin on her face, laptop in front of her. She'd been on her computer, reviewing the school budget when she heard the 'ding' of a new email. It was from Martin.

When she'd sent her last email to him, she'd been curious as to how he'd take it. She knew he was a logical man, but she'd never been that direct with him, telling him she liked compliments. She had debated about where to start in teaching him how to be a partner, and seeing him take her directions to heart, and even encouraging her to be frank with him about her needs was heartwarming.

His compliments were so incredibly… Martin... so sweet and heartfelt. She loved that she got to see this side of him. She knew people wondered what she saw in him, but underneath that gruff exterior was an incredibly sensitive, earnest, and amazing man. She knew that their relationship would never be without its challenges, how could it… they were so different as people. But if they could learn how to be with each other, bring out the best in each other, maybe they'd have half a shot of being happy and growing old together. And reading Martin's email to her had cemented it. He was trying. They'd would inevitably hit road bumps along the way, but he was worth the effort.

Looking at the clock, she knew it was too late to start a reply to him. She put her laptop away, lay back on the pillows and drifted to sleep with a smile on her face.

XxxxxxxxxX

The next day, Louisa was nervously loitering behind Martin as he examined one of her students in the sick bay. A fight had broken out in the playground over lunch, and the teacher on yard duty had broken it up before too many punches were thrown. Unfortunately, Billy Dunmore had come off worse for wear, and was currently having his swollen eye examined by Martin.

"Right, no concussion. The area around his eye is swollen and bruised, but it should go down after a week or so. When you get home, apply a cold compress to the area 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off for the first 48 hours. If he develops any complications, come see me at the surgery."

"Oh thanks Doc. I'm sure he'll be fine… I copped a few shiners back in my day'n there ain't nothin' wrong with me." Mr and Mrs Dunmore shook Martin's hand and ushered Billy out the door.

Louisa watched them go, almost more nervous now she was alone with Martin.

"Right… thanks for coming Martin. I was hoping it wasn't serious, but his eye bruised up so quickly I felt I had to call you"

Martin packed up his bag and turned to face Louisa.

"Yes… Umm… with head injuries it's always best to be safe…"

They stood there, looking at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity to Louisa.

_Say something!_ She thought. _Anything!_ Now that he was in front of her though, her mind was blank. Somehow, writing to him was easier. _This is ridiculous, it's Martin. The man you've known for three years. The man you're in love with. The man that you're writing to! It's Martin! That's the point though… it's Martin. Everything has changed, yet nothing has changed._ These thoughts were racing through her mind, when finally Martin picked up his bag. "Right… I'd better get back then... "

"Oh...ok"

He walked passed her and as he did, she instinctively reached out and grabbed his free hand. He turned back to her, looking to where her hand was holding his. His eyes were questioning as he looked back to her face. _He has beautifully expressive eyes_, was the last thought running through her head as she stood on her toes and kissed him.

She closed her eyes and revelled in him... The feel of him, smell of him, the taste of him. It was exquisite. Slowly they pulled apart and she opened her eyes, smiling as she looked at him.

"Martin, don't take this the wrong way, but don't you dare say anything. Not a single word." The corners of his mouth turned up at this, and unable to resist, she lent back in to kiss him again, his medical bag falling as he brought his hands up to cup her face.

The door behind them flew open and they jumped apart. Martin bent down to pick up his bag, and Louisa reached up to push a lock of hair behind her ears, both avoiding eye contact with their intruder.

"Sorry to interrupt Miss Glasson, but the head of the school board is on the phone for you and said it's urgent."

With one look back at Martin, who was now regarding her intently, she turned to leave. "Right, thanks. See you later Martin."

He nodded, and watched her leave. It was a good day.


	13. Chapter 13

Louisa sat back at her kitchen table reviewing the latest email she had drafted to Martin. Things were going well between them, they'd exchanged a handful of emails, and it even seemed as if Martin was starting to open up to her… slowly, but opening up nonetheless.

She smiled as she thought back to that afternoon. She hadn't meant to kiss Martin, and definitely not while she was at school, but there was something so vulnerable about him, the look in his eyes so lost, so unsure... She hadn't thought at all, just reached out and kissed him. She closed her eyes and could almost still feel the spot where his hands cupped her cheek, the swish of her skirt as his bag dropped to the floor, the feel of his suit under her hands…

Shaking the daydream from her thoughts, her eyes fell back to the email in front of her. They were so good together, had such an amazing chemistry, Louisa just hoped that they could see this through and work out how to be together as a couple.

Smiling to herself she brought her hands back to the keyboard to continue drafting her email.

_To: Martin Ellingham_  
_From: Louisa Glasson_  
_Subject: RE: RE: Fresh start_

_Dear Martin,_

_Martin, I find it really touching how hard you're trying to make this work between us. I know we're very different, and we'll both have to work at it really hard to make it work, but I think we can! Two people, who are different, but who love each other can make a relationship work, don't you think? _

_I'm glad that you like the idea of a fresh start, and I must say I like how it's going. And yes, I am referring to our little interlude at school today, after Billy and his parents left... How was the rest of your day? I found it extremely difficult to concentrate after you left. At least twice I was caught daydreaming, and I cannot for the life of me remember what that phone call from the school board was about. Oh well. _

_Louisa x_

Hitting send on the email, Louisa got up to put the kettle on. The water had only just started to boil, when she heard the 'ding' of a new email. Switching the pot off and pouring herself a tea, she made her way back to the table and saw that the new email was from Martin.

_To: Louisa Glasson_  
_From: Martin Ellingham_  
_Subject: RE: RE: RE: Fresh start_

_Louisa,_

_If you're having trouble concentrating at work you really should make an appointment to see me. Have you had any headaches, migraines? Or just the loss of concentration? Come to the Surgery tomorrow and I can examine you properly. _

_Martin_

Typing furiously, Louisa shot an email back to Martin. Honestly, that man is going to drive me mad. She thought. For a smart man, he can be incredibly thick sometimes!

_To: Martin Ellingham_  
_From: Louisa Glasson_  
_Subject: Really?_

_Oh, for God's sake Martin, I'm not sick! I was daydreaming about you! Not everything needs to be diagnosed! _

_Louisa_

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Martin sat back in his chair after reading the last email from Louisa. This is why he hated this sort of thing. How was he supposed to know that she was daydreaming about him? It was his job to diagnose people. And now she seemed upset that he'd tried to help her. God he was rubbish at this. Sometimes she made no sense to him at all, and she seemed so frustrated that he didn't know what she was talking about. But. He thought. She did say if I didn't understand her to just tell her... But then again she did say she wouldn't get frustrated either.

Martin knew he needed to smooth things over with her if he wanted them to continue along this path of reconciliation. He moved his hands back over the keyboard and started typing.

_To: Louisa Glasson_  
_From: Martin Ellingham_  
_Subject: RE: Really_

_Louisa, _

_I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions about your health. I know you've said that you don't want me to talk to you about medicine, but sometimes that will be hard for me. It's what I've been trained to do, and the only thing I'm really good at. When you said you were having trouble concentrating I naturally thought that I could help you with that. It would have helped me understand what you were getting at if you had just explained that you couldn't concentrate because you were daydreaming. _

_I have been doing some research about possible activities that we could try out together to see if there was something that we both enjoyed._

_Up in Truro next Thursday evening there is a special exhibit for rare and exotic butterflies at the Art Gallery. I've been invited to the opening, and I was wondering if you'd be interested in attending with me? I know it's probably not your sort of thing, but I'm not really sure what your sort of thing is yet? It's going to be ghastly, lots of people fawning over artwork, but well, if you'd like to go we could?_

_Martin_

XxxxxxxxxX

Louisa was ashamed. Without stopping to think, she'd jumped down his neck because he hadn't picked up that she'd been flirting with him. If she was being honest, he didn't pick up when she was flirting with him face-to-face, so why she thought he would via email was just ridiculous.

She'd immediately gotten frustrated with him and snapped, which was exactly the thing she promised herself she wouldn't do. Still, they were both on this journey together, and were bound to slip up once in a while.

He'd apologised to her for not understanding her, but in reality it was she who needed to apologise to him. She knew he was a logical man. She knew he struggled to understand subtext and the subtle nuances of conversations that most people would pick up. Without intending to, she'd set him up to fail. And when he did what he always did - turned to medicine, she'd jumped down his throat.

And he was right. He would always default to medicine. It was what he was trained to do. Was it unfair of her to ask him to change something that was so fundamental to him? Maybe she was going at it the wrong way. She didn't think she was being unreasonable in asking that he not talk about medicine when they were being intimate, but jumping down his throat when his thoughts bent that way was unfair. It was part of why she loved him, his unwavering dedication to helping others, and yet, perversely it was also what she wanted him to stop doing when he was with her.

Maybe he wasn't the only one that needed to work out how to be in a relationship. Now that was a sobering thought indeed.


	14. Chapter 14

It was a few days later, and Louisa was busy getting ready for an evening out. Looking at her watch, she knew Martin would be there any minute, and hurriedly finished applying her makeup.

Over the last few days they'd exchanged a number of emails, coming to a truce after the little outburst following their kiss. Tonight would be the first time she'd seen him since that afternoon, and she was determined that they would have a good night.

She had spent the last few nights after school coming up with a game plan in her head for how the evening would go, and was determined not to let her frustration with Martin get the better of her. She was equally as determined to continue her guidance of him, on how to be in a relationship.

Outside, she could hear the sound of his Lexus pulling up to her door, and grabbed her purse and went to meet him.

Opening the front door, Martin was just getting out of the car and looked startled by her presence before him. He thought she looked stunning. She was wearing a simple black dress that hugged her in all the right places, before flaring out into a flowing skirt.

"Louisa!"

"Hello Martin, you're looking nice tonight. Is that a new suit?"

Before he could respond, Louisa took a step forward and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Oh… I… Um… yes…"

Concealing a smirk at his stunned reaction, Louisa walked to the passenger side and with the help of Martin, got in the car.

The drive to the Art Gallery was torture for Martin. Louisa had been nattering away about school and Martin had desperately been trying to summon the courage to tell her how beautiful she looked. In one of her emails, she had told him that she liked getting compliments from him, and he thought she looked stunning tonight. The problem was, he couldn't get the words to come out.

They pulled up at the gallery entrance and the valet quickly appeared and opened the door so Martin could get out. Taking a breath to calm his nerves, he made his way around to the passenger side door, and held his hand out to help Louisa from the car.

As she stood up beside him Martin got a faint whiff of Kenzo Flower, and leaning down closer to her ear, murmured "You look very beautiful tonight Louisa."

Looking up at him in surprise, she could see in his eyes he was nervous. Smiling brilliantly at him, she squeezed his arm in encouragement. "Thank you Martin."

The exhibition itself was exactly as Martin predicted, crowds of people fawning over artwork. But he had to admit the art was good. It was an exhibit by a renowned nature photographer, who, for this exhibition had photographed rare and exotic butterflies from around the world.

Martin looked down at Louisa next to him. Since his compliment earlier, she had been uncharacteristically quiet… But she'd also looped her arm through his as they'd entered, which Martin had taken as a sign that things were going well. In his experience, when he'd upset her in the past, she usually wanted to get away from him, not get closer, so he thought this was a promising sign.

Feeling his gaze upon her, Louisa looked up at Martin and smiled. "You enjoying the exhibit Martin?"

His eyes briefly flickered to the piece of art in front of them, and then back to her. "Yes...um… the artist has captured some very rare butterflies."

"Yeah. I didn't realise there were so many different types to be honest."

"Yes… there are approximately 17,500 different species of butterflies around the world. This one here is a Fabriciana Adippe, or more commonly known as the High Brown Fritillary. It's generally considered to be the rarest butterfly in the UK. Since the 1950s it's undergone a dramatic decline, mainly due to climate change, habit loss, changes in woodland management and agricultural intensification."

Louisa smiled at him. "I never knew you were so knowledgeable about butterflies, Martin."

"Yes... I've always found them fascinating. For my seventh birthday my Grandfather bought me a butterfly net and book on Lepidopterology, which is the study of butterflies and moths. When I would visit Auntie Joan I'd spend hours looking for butterflies in her garden…"

"Oh Martin that's really sweet."

Seeing an opening in front of a new picture, Louisa led Martin through the crowd. Looking around, Louisa commented, "There's certainly a big crowd here tonight. How was it that you got invited?"

At this, Martin looked sheepish. "Oh...I… ah... know the artist. He was a patient of mine in London, and knowing of my interest in Lepidopterology he asked if I'd like to attend. I've been to several of his gallery exhibits up in London, so I knew the work would be good. Do you like it? We can go if you're not enjoying it?"

Chuckling, Louisa brought her free hand up to rest on his arm. "No it's great, I'm really enjoying myself. I just had no idea that you were so well connected to the art community. You're full of surprises Martin!"

XxxxxxxX

As Martin pulled the Lexis up in front of Louisa's cottage, he could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. The night had gone surprisingly well in Martin's opinion. He had managed to avoid irritating her with medical talk, and she'd seemed pleased when he'd opened up about his love of butterflies.

Now was the tricky bit where he usually came unstuck. Intellectually, he knew that after a date a couple would usually share a goodbye kiss. And Martin was desperate to kiss her. But, this was usually where things unraveled for him... He'd let his guard down, and without thinking he'd say something to offend her. So much so that last time they'd kissed Louisa had told him not to talk at all afterwards! Taking a deep breath, Martin got out of the car, and came around to hold the door open for Louisa and walk her to the front door.

He couldn't look at her. They stood there for what felt like, to Martin, an eternity._ This is ridiculous. Just lean in and kiss her. You've kissed before. Just don't ruin it._ Martin glanced up to find Louisa looking at him with an encouraging smile on her face. _Don't ruin it. Ok, here goes nothing... Just don't say anything to ruin it. _ He slowly lowered his head to meet hers in a soft kiss. He pulled back to gauge her reaction and could see her eyes were closed and a small smile graced her lips. Without thinking, he leaned in and kissed her again, harder this time, bringing his hands up to cup her face.

Louisa was in heaven. She's had a lovely night with the man she loved, and was currently standing outside her house enjoying one of the best kisses she'd ever had. _Lord, this man knows how to kiss, that for certain._ Pulling back from the kiss, Louisa looked up at him. "Martin"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you want to… you know… stay the night?" She held her breath, waiting for him to respond.

His eyes went wide in surprise.

"I...ah… well… I... are you sure?"

Smiling up at him and nodding, she grabbed his hand in hers and led him into the cottage.


	15. Chapter 15

It was early the next morning and Martin slowly opened his eyes, looking down to see what the heavy weight pressing against his chest was. The corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile when he saw that the weight was Louisa, and that sometime during the night they had shifted and she was currently using his chest as her pillow.

_This must be the feeling people talk about when they say they are happy and content._ Martin thought. And he was happy. In that moment everything seemed perfect to him. It didn't matter that he wasn't a surgeon in London. It didn't matter that his mother wished that he was never born. It didn't matter that the whole town thought he was a tosser. All that mattered was that the woman of his dreams was currently in his arms, snoring softly against his chest.

Looking across to the bedside table to check the time, Martin could see it was just past 6.30am. Wishing he didn't have to, but knowing that if he didn't get up and get back to the surgery, he wouldn't have time to get ready and have breakfast before his patients arrived.

Gently, he tried to manoeuvre himself from the bed without waking up Louisa, but as he shifted her head back to the pillow, she roused from her sleep and opened her eyes to look at him.

His breath caught in his throat. _She is so beautiful. What if she regrets this? God I don't think I could take it if she regretted last night._

Oblivious to his internal battle, a slow lazy smile graced her lips and she murmured "Morning" before rolling towards him to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

XxxxxxxxX

A lot later than originally planned, Martin pulled his car into the parking bay by the surgery. Looking at his watch, he could see it was almost 8.20am. Hopefully, Pauline wouldn't be arriving for another ten minutes, giving him time for a quick change before surgery started.

Opening the door to the surgery, Martin was immediately stopped short by the sight of Pauline and a room full of patients.

"Mornin' Doc. Have a good time last night? Never thought I'd see you doin' the walk of shame!"

Martin scowled at this, and at the snickering from the patients that had clearly arrived early to make fun of him.

This is what he hated about this town. Nothing was ever private. Why they all couldn't mind their own business, Martin would never understand. He took off at a brisk pace upstairs, his scowl deepening at the knowledge that he'd be fending off the curious crowd all day.


	16. Chapter 16

The day panned out exactly as Martin thought it would. Jam packed full of nosy patients who wanted to get any gossip they could about his night with Louisa. It had left him in a foul mood, and Louisa, who had just knocked on the kitchen door could see the frustration coming off him in waves.

"Louisa!"

"Hello Martin" As she passed him on her way in, she kissed him on his cheek. "How was your day?"

Martin scowled at this, "Awful! The people in this town insist on wasting my time. It's bad enough I have to dish out advice that they don't take, but when they come in with no reason other than to grill me about my personal life, well that's just the icing on the cake. Idiots."

"Well I'm sure it's not all that bad. They mean well."

"Mean well?! Louisa, I have people who have genuine medical problems that can't get appointments because these twits, like Burt Large, come in and insist on wasting everyone's time. I'm sure it's very comforting to Mrs Twinborne, who had to wait over 3 hours to see me today because these idiots completely booked up my timetable. This village should have compulsory contraceptives to stop these people reproducing!"

Louisa bristled at this. "Martin, these are the people I grew up with. I'm part of the town too, and some of them are my friends."

"Friends?! Most of these people need to be sectioned!"

"Now you're just being rude Martin! I didn't come over here to argue with you. I can see you're in a foul mood, so I'll just go."

"Louisa… wait…" He huffed to himself as he watched her quickly exit the kitchen and walk down the hill back to her cottage.

Martin sat down on his couch, lent forward and put his head in his hands. _Good job, you idiot. You snap at the one person in this blasted village that you actually care about, and now she's stormed off, probably wishing that she'd never come to see you at all._

Martin was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of his mobile ringing. "Oh, what now!"

Pulling his phone out, he answered "Ellingham. Oh hello Auntie Joan. You did what? Yes alright, I'll be there soon."

XxxxxxxxxxX

Knocking on the door and letting himself in, he called out to Joan.

"In here Marty"

Martin made his way into the lounge room where Joan currently had her leg elevated on a chair. Martin could see a nail protruding from her foot, which was covered in rags. Taking a deep breath and swallowing the rising sick feeling that had immediately come up Martin got to work.

"What happened?"

"I was just finishing up for the day, and didn't see the nail sticking up on the floor, and well I'm sure you can guess what happened next. I got the shoe off, but I couldn't dislodge the nail. You doing alright? You don't look so good."

"Yes I'm fine. This will hurt though…"

Joan cried out in pain as Martin managed to pull the nail out.

"There, that's out. When did you last have a tetanus shot?"

"Oh I don't know Marty."

"Right, well I'll give you one when I'm done cleaning up this."

Joan watched as Martin set about cleaning the wound. She could see he was tense, but that could be because of the blood. She was wildly curious about the state of his relationship with Louisa. She'd heard on the grapevine that Martin's car was parked out the front of Louisa's cottage all last night, and it wasn't a huge leap to assume they'd spent the night together. If that was the case though, why he was looking so frustrated was beyond her.

She winced as Martin stuck the needle in her arm.

"Right, that's all done. Keep off it as much as you can. I'll pop by tomorrow to change the dressings."

"Good, thank you Marty."

Martin knelt down, beginning to clean up the dirty rags and blood that had dripped on the floor

"So Martin, how are things going with you and Louisa? I heard you had a good night last night?"

She knew she'd hit a sore spot as Martin's head immediately shot up with a scowl on his face.

"That is none of your business. Who told you that? Why can't this blasted village find something more interesting than my private life to talk about!?"

Seeing him so riled up, Joan chuckled. "Oh you are touchy about it. What did you do this time to muck it up then?"

"What! I did nothing"

"No? So why are you so cross?"

"I am not cross! This blasted village needs to learn to mind its own business, you included!"

"Oh calm down Martin, I'm not attacking you! Now tell me, what has happened that's gotten you so worked up?"

"I am not worked up, I'm leaving! Goodbye!" Martin gathered up his bag, and quickly walked out the door.


	17. Chapter 17

As he made his way back into town from Joan's farm, Martin could feel the tension flowing through his body. Up ahead he could see he was coming around to one of his favourite spots overlooking the bay, pulled the car over to the side of the road and made his way over to the deserted outlook area.

_It really is one of the most beautiful parts of the world._ He thought. _Pity the people who live here are mad. Why can't they just mind their own business and leave me alone. Surely there is something more interesting going on here than my relationship with Louisa! And Louisa, now she's probably upset with me for the way I spoke with her. I wouldn't be surprised if she calls it all off between us._

Letting out a big sigh, he made his way further along the path to where a bench was overlooking the cliffs.

_What's the point? I can't even make it to the second date with Louisa without mucking it up. She's probably at home now regretting spending the night with me. I knew it wouldn't work. _

_What would a beautiful, social, vivacious woman want with a tosser like me anyway? She's probably sitting at home glad that she's rid of me. _

_Oh god. Now we're going to have to go back to being just 'friends'... And she'll meet someone new... Someone who isn't so difficult... Someone like Danny. And I'll have to watch them be charming and happy and all 'couply' around the village. _

A loud rumbling overhead shook him from his reverie and Martin could see the dark clouds rolling in on the horizon. Knowing if he stayed any longer he'd be caught in the storm, he quickly made his way back to the car and drove home.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

As Martin cleaned up in the consulting room following his morning of patients, his mood was as dark as the day before. He'd spent all morning warding off enquiries about the state of his relationship with Louisa, if they'd spent the night together, or if Louisa had finally come to her senses and dropped him. One particularly forward patient even had the gall to ask whether it was Martin's first time with a woman and if he would share the details, when Martin had lost his temper and ordered everyone out of the surgery.

Now that his temper had cooled, he could see how badly he'd reacted to their goading, and how unfair of him it was to take his anger out on Louisa. She was the woman that he loved and wanted to spend his life with, and he had used his frustration at the village as a vehicle to drive a wedge in their relationship. He thought back to the night of the concert, and what Louisa had said to him.

_It's us Martin. We're not going anywhere, and we never will._

She was right. They weren't going anywhere because he wouldn't let them. Every time they were on track to move forward, he would sabotage things. She didn't deserve to be treated that way, and she certainly deserved better than him.

_I'm sorry Martin, I'm really, really sorry, but I don't want to see you anymore._

She had tried to move on from this 'back and forth' relationship that they had, and he hadn't been able to let it go, so he pursued her. Sure, he didn't mean for Pauline to send that first letter, but his goal from the research had always been to try and get a second chance to be in a relationship with her. And now, to make matters worse, they'd spent the night together. He now knew what it was to make love to someone, not just have sex, and it was both the best and the worst thing to happen to him. He knew he'd never find anyone that he cared about as much as Louisa, and he finally understood what it felt like to be heartbroken... To know that he'd had a chance at happiness, and it was now out of his reach… that it was all his fault.

Hearing the clock chime from the next room, he shook his head, as if to shake the melancholy from it. Looking at his watch, he could see it was time to check on Joan if he wanted to be there before nightfall, so he picked up his medical bag and headed out the door.


	18. Chapter 18

"So, have you calmed down after yesterday then?" Joan commented as he came through the door.

"Aunty Joan! You're supposed to keep off your foot if you want it to heal properly!".

"Are you going to come and feed the chickens and the livestock then? No, thought not!"

Martin huffed at this, and directed her to sit down. He began changing the dressing and he could feel Joan's gaze on him.

"So how are you really, Marty?"

He looked up quickly at this, mumbling "Fine".

Sighing, Joan continued on. "Martin, I've known you since you were a baby. You've always been awful at lying. You practically bit my head off yesterday and today you look like I've confiscated your favourite toy. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, everything's fine".

"So things are peachy then, between you and Louisa?"

At this he hesitated, almost as if he couldn't decide whether he wanted to talk or not. Seeing him like this always broke her heart. He really was such a sensitive soul behind the gruff exterior. She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, and he paused his wrapping of her ankle.

"Martin, why don't you tell me what's happened…"

Looking up at her, Joan could see the torment in his eyes. "Please. I want to help."

Martin's shoulders sagged at this, and Joan almost thought he looked like a lost little boy. He finished wrapping her foot, stood and gathered the soiled rags to put in the bin, before walking back to sit on the chair opposite her.

"I...ahhh…. well I… ruined everything"

"Oh Marty, I'm sure it's not that bad. What happened?"

"Things were going so well, and then this stupid town made it their business to interfere. And now I don't know where we're at…. They just kept coming in asking me about where I'd been, and what we'd done, and… I was frustrated that the townspeople were trying to find out what happened between us and I yelled at her and she left…. Now she's probably wishing that we'd never even gone out. I've ruined it again."

He hung his head in his hands, and Joan resisted the impulse to tear strips off him, knowing that he'd clam up and leave. By the looks of it though there wasn't a need, he was already berating himself enough about it. She could just picture it, Martin annoyed about the villagers trying to get information from him, and Louisa, fiercely loyal to the town and the people in it, would have fought back.

"Well, did she say it was over between you when she left?" Martin looked up at this.

"What?"

"Did Louisa actually tell you that it was over, when she left?"

"Well no, but she looked so mad, she probably doesn't want to see me again"

"Oh Martin... Couples fight! It doesn't automatically mean things are over between you both."

"…"

"And honestly Martin. One fight and you're ready to give up?! Don't you want to be with her?"

Martin looked offended at this, standing up and pacing.

"Yes of course I do, but every time we get together I ruin it. What's the point..."

"The point?! You mean besides sharing your life with someone you love? Martin, your Uncle Phil and I didn't see eye to eye all the time, or even very often, but I wouldn't give up those years we spent together for a Kings Fortune!"

With a sigh, Martin sat down again in front of her. "It's not the same Aunty Joan"

"You're right, it's not the same. We didn't scurry away with our tails between our legs every time we hit a bump in the road"

"I am not scurrying away with my tail between my legs!"

"Ha! And what would you call it then?"

Martin stood up in frustration at this and glared at her, and Joan could see that she'd ignited his anger. Good. She thought. About time you got a bit of fight into you!

"Look… Martin. Did you do any research on this, like I suggested" He looked embarrassed at this, and walked over to the sink to wash his hands.

"Ah… yes… I did…"

"Did any of it cover conflict?"

Martin sighed at this, thinking back over what he'd read a few weeks ago.

"Yes.. Umm… One article said that we should practice empathy by putting ourselves in each others shoes. We should take note about things that upset our partner, and make boundaries so conflict doesn't arise in the future."

"Right, so what upset Louisa when you yelled at her?"

"Well… I'm sure she didn't like it that I was yelling… and I was talking about how idiotic the townspeople were, which they are! But she said they were her friends, and she lives here too."

"Ok, so if you were to take the advice from that article, what would you do?"

"Well... I suppose that I shouldn't tell her how moronic I find the people in this village?"

"Right. That doesn't sound too hard, now does it Martin?"

"Oh, well, no I suppose not…"

"And what else does this research say about resolving conflict?"

"Um… well that communication is key. That I need to talk to her and tell her about my feelings and tell her what's on my mind?"

"So, what are you waiting for?"

"Well I... I mean… it's not that easy… …. What if she doesn't want…"

"Go to her Martin, talk to her. Apologise. If you love her and want to be with her, find a way to make it right."

"Oh… Right.… yes… Ok…"

Martin stood and made his way to the door.

"Oh and Martin" He turned to look at her.

"Flowers always help"


	19. Chapter 19

It was late Sunday night, and Martin was once again sitting at his consulting desk, paper strewn out in front of him, pen in hand.

He had tossed and turned all night, his fight with Louisa and his conversation with Joan running through his head. Joan was right though, he needed to use the advice from the research he had done and apply it to this situation. After all, the other times that he'd acted upon the advice had worked out in his favour, so he was cautiously optimistic.

He'd thought about going to see Louisa after he'd seen Joan yesterday, but he'd wanted to be fully prepared - he didn't want to leave this one up to chance. Thinking clearly now, he knew that Louisa hadn't actually broken things off with him, but he was terrified that if he said the wrong thing she would. And now that he knew what it was like to truly be with her, he no longer thought he'd be able to go back to being acquaintances.

So, he did the only thing he thought he could do to ensure he that he could say what he wanted without getting flustered. He was writing her a letter.

He wanted to leave no doubt in Louisa's mind that he was sorry for his outburst and that he would do anything in his power to make this relationship work between them.

As Joan had suggested, Martin had gone out early to Truro to buy flowers. He knew he could have saved himself the time and bought them down in the village, but after the inquisition he received after their date, Martin didn't want to fuel any more gossip. The florist had asked him what kind of flowers he wanted and Martin had no idea what type were Louisa's favourite. She was a happy person, and Martin had always thought daisies looked bright and cheerful, so he'd bought her those.

The decision to write to her instead of email had been easy. He wanted her to know how serious he was taking this, and he felt she would appreciate the time he took to write to her this way. Martin placed his pen down and perused the paper he'd spent the last few hours drafting, before folding it and placing it in a blank envelope on the table and sealing it shut. He picked up his pen and wrote neatly on the front. Louisa.

This time however, instead of leaving it on his desk for Pauline to accidentally post, Martin got up, grabbed the daisies and set off at a brisk pace towards Louisa's house.

Upon arriving at Louisa's cottage, Martin could see the lights on. He knew it was cowardly, but not wanting to risk mucking it up by seeing her, he placed the flowers and letter on the landing step, rung the doorbell, and left.


	20. Chapter 20

_Dear Louisa,_

_I know you're probably wondering why I'm writing you this letter instead of coming to see you in person. But the truth is, when I'm with you I often find it hard to say the things I really want to and somehow end up being tongue-tied or saying something that upsets you. I have a few things I really want to say, and I don't want to muck it up, so I thought writing would be the best option._

_Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am for the way I acted when I last saw you. I'd had an awful day with Pauline and the other townspeople making fun of us spending the night together, and trying to get the gossip about our evening, and I took it out on you._

_I know that you love this town and the people in it, and so in the future I will try to be more understanding of that and not tell you how awful I find them. _

_I know we're on this journey together, trying to teach each other how to be in a relationship together, and that it's more for my benefit than yours. But I am so very grateful that you gave me another chance. I only hope I haven't mucked it up again?_

_If we do this, there are going to be things that we both struggle with - my tendency to jump to a medical diagnosis, yours to get frustrated at my inability to understand you... but I will give everything I have to make this work between us. _

_Our date to the Art Gallery will forever be etched into my memory, as I have never experienced anything as amazing as the night I spent with you. I have had girlfriends, or lovers in the past, but it's never been about anything other than physical release. Even thinking back to medical school, where I had a girlfriend who I asked to marry me, it was always so clinical... so neat... so convenient. Being with you I finally understand what it means to 'make love' to someone. I love you Louisa, I think I have loved you from the moment I saw you. If someone had asked me before I came to Portwenn, I would have said that I was content on my own. Now if someone were to ask, I can no longer contemplate such a solitary existence without you. _

_I've never been drawn to anyone like I am to you. You are the brightest part of my day, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive this grumpy, rude, but well-meaning man, who is desperately in love with you._

_You have my heart, now and forever. _

_Martin Ellingham._

_P.S. I hope you like the flowers. I wasn't sure which ones were your favourite? I hope these ones will do until I can add your favourite flowers to my "Likes and Dislikes" list._

Louisa wiped the tears away from her eyes, and glanced over at the daisies sitting on the table. She'd heard the doorbell ring earlier tonight, and going to answer it she found no one there but a bunch of flowers with a note attached, lying on the mat.

She knew instantly it was from Martin, his handwriting so familiar to her. She hadn't known what to expect when opening the letter, and certainly what she'd just read was so far from what she ever thought she'd receive from Martin she didn't quite know what to do.

It was a love letter. She'd received a love letter from Martin Ellingham! She smiled at this and held the letter to her chest. He was an amazing man. She knew how hard it would have been for him to write this to her, and he'd done it anyway. After their disagreement the other day, Louisa had made her way home, proud of herself that she hadn't snapped back at Martin when he was clearly in a mood. She thought she'd give him time to calm down before popping over to see him after a few days. Never in her wildest dreams did she think he would do this!

This was a testament to how much he wanted things to work between them. That such a private, taciturn man could layout his feelings for her in a letter was astounding. And what he'd said about their night together! That night had been one of the best of her life. She had no idea what to expect with him, and certainly his knowledge of anatomy had served her very well. What had surprised her the most, however, was how well they'd fit together, how gentle and passionate he was, and just how right it felt to be together like that.

She agreed with what he'd said. She could no longer see her future without him in it. Glancing at her watch, and deciding that she didn't care how late it was, Louisa jumped up, dropped the letter on the table and ran out the door.


	21. Chapter 21

Martin was upstairs brushing his teeth when he heard a banging on his kitchen door. Quickly rinsing his mouth out, he went downstairs, turned on the light in the kitchen and opened the door. His breath caught in his throat, as he saw Louisa standing there, tears in her eyes.

Their eyes met, and without warning Louisa threw her arms around Martin's neck and kissed him.

Startled, Martin reacted instinctively and wound his arms around her waist, lifting her feet off the ground, moved them into the kitchen, closing the door behind them.

They kissed for what seemed, to Martin, too short a time, when Louisa pulled back and smiled at him. She lent in again, murmuring words of love while showering his face and mouth with kisses.

Pausing her kisses, she held his face in her hands and looked him in the eyes. "Martin, you silly man. You haven't mucked it up again. We're on this journey together… to teach each other how to be together. We're bound to fight occasionally, it's just part of being a couple! Thank you for saying you'll try not to talk down about the villagers. I know they can be annoying, but they're just excited for us. The gossip will die down soon."

"I love you so much Martin. I love your dedication to helping people, even though you find them annoying. I love how loyal you are to those you care about. I even love how much dogs love you. I love you Martin Ellingham, and don't you forget it!"

Overcome with emotion and without thinking, he said the first thing that came into his mind. "Louisa, I love you so much... Please... marry me?"

Startled, Louisa pulled back. "What did you say?"

Martin, looking down at her, lent his forehead against her, and whispered. "Marry me?"

Louisa pulled her head back and looked into his eyes. He had such expressive eyes, and they were currently looking at her with such love and uncertainty that it made her heart ache. He was such a complex man. So taciturn, so rude, so sensitive, so loving. So perfect for her. His proposal had caught her off guard, but looking into his eyes, she knew, without a doubt, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life trying to figure out this puzzling, contradictory, frustrating, kind-hearted man.

"Oh yes, Martin. I will. Yes!"

Martin released the breath he didn't even realise he was holding, as a wave of an unfamiliar emotion washed over him. Contentment. He closed his eyes, kissing Louisa again and revelled in the feeling of contentment... Knowing that for better or worse, they would be together, that they would figure the relationship out. Martin could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, as he pulled back and buried his head in her neck, inhaling her scent.

They stood like this for a while, before Martin pulled back, running kisses down her face and shoulders. "Stay with me tonight?"

Taking a step back from him, grabbing his hand and walking to the stairs, she looked over her shoulder at him.

"You, Martin, have _my_ heart, now and forever.

**The end.**

XxxxxxxxxxX

Well, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed my little story... I really enjoyed writing it, and I really appreciate the time everyone has taken to reviewing my story. Thanks :)


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